(Read John 8)
Recently, I offered my services to a non-profit client of mine. It was for a campaign they have never used to my knowledge, and I thought it would be a fantastic representation of their brand and mission. I had been looking forward to the opportunity to serve them in a pro bono capacity, so when I received a follow-up email, my excitement was quickly clouded by disappointment. More than disappointment though, there was some anger, frustration, and then apathy. As an impulsive person, I ran through scenarios in my head, none of which were positive or helpful. Then, I felt a nudge, like a gentle hand on my shoulder. It was as if Jesus was saying, “Look at me. What would I do?”
I prayed about this all week and learned from Jesus’ lessons, that if I want to follow Him more closely and be like Him, I need to respond—not react. When we react, we allow anger and bitterness to foul our relationships. Reactions are always emotional and rarely well-thought-out. How many times have we said or done something out of anger when, two minutes later, we wish we could bring it back? I’ve done that with emails before. With my email platform, I get 30 seconds to reconsider. Usually, that’s not enough time for my head to clear. The late Tim Keller said, anger “…often arises from love and a desire to protect or defend what is loved.” So, I reconsidered, what am I protecting? What am I so angry about?
“Responding,” on the other hand, uses other tools that we have available to live more lovingly with family, friends, and community. For one, it uses the wisdom of time. While many people are gifted with snap-decision judgments and rapid-fire thinking, it’s not the model for every scenario in life. Or shouldn’t be. Dynamic situations, the well-being of others, and healthy relationships often require extended-release responses. If we rush to a quick reaction, it’s more likely that we’re not tapping into what the Holy Spirit has instilled in us. It’s not the absence of worldly discernment in our thinking, but the absence of the divine.
Whoever is patient has great understanding,
but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones.
Proverbs 14: 29-30
A wise person exercises patience, not simply as a matter of behavior, but as a reflection of inner peace and spiritual maturity. Slowness to anger isn’t weakness, but rather it is a sign of great understanding. It’s a controlled soul that chooses contemplation over impulse. In contrast, a quick temper brings folly. Rash reactions elevate foolishness, often leading to broken relationships, regretful words, and a damaged witness before others.
A “tranquil heart”—a heart at peace—nourishes the whole body, suggesting that emotional and spiritual stability positively impact both our physical well-being and our relationships. When we cultivate the virtue of patience and guard our hearts from fiery reactions, we reflect the character of Christ Himself, who is described as slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love (Exodus 34:6). In doing so, we not only protect our relationships but also nurture a soul rooted in peace—bringing life to ourselves and to those around us.
Solomon’s words poetically connect the patience of a Spirit-filled soul with the powerful, outward fruit it produces. Who comes to your mind when you read this? If your answer is “you,” great! But I’m thinking of someone even greater: Jesus Christ.
So Moses chiseled out two stone tablets like the first ones and went up Mount Sinai early in the morning, as the Lord had commanded him; and he carried the two stone tablets in his hands. Then the Lord came down in the cloud and stood there with him and proclaimed his name, the Lord. And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin.”
Exodus 34:4-7
In these verses in Exodus, we encounter one of the most powerful self-descriptions of God in all of Scripture, not because we learn WHO He is, but WHAT He is. After the deeply blasphemous incident with the golden calf, Moses ascends Mount Sinai again to receive a renewed covenant. It’s here that God passes before Moses and declares His name and character: “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” This moment isn’t just a revelation for Moses—it’s a divine statement of His core.
God’s “slowness to anger” means He is not reactive or volatile, unlike the gods of surrounding nations or especially us. His patience is not passive tolerance. His patience is an active, deliberate posture of mercy. Even after Israel’s rebellion, God doesn’t abandon them. He could have started over. Instead, He renews the covenant. That kind of forbearance points to a love that is both holy and deeply personal.
Exodus 34:6 sets the bar for how we understand God’s justice, love, and involvement in the lives of His people and in us. He is not indifferent to sin, but through the cross He is eager to forgive. That should dramatically change how we see ourselves and how we respond, not react, to others. It invites us to rest in His patience, to receive His grace, and to reflect His compassion in a world that so often rushes to judgment.
The Hebrew word for “compassion” is related to the word for a mother’s womb. God’s love is nurturing, protective, and deeply invested in the well-being of His people. Grace means we receive favor we haven’t earned and mercy we don’t deserve. This is the heart of God, not only in the Old Testament but fully embodied in Jesus Christ.
Respond, don’t react.
As I was pulling into the parking lot of our neighborhood grocery store, I saw two cars broken down on the side of the road. I know I should, but I don’t always stop. These vehicles were quite sketchy looking, but it was really hot out, and I felt a need to help. I stopped, rolled down my window, and asked if everything was OK.
“No, it’s not,” a woman said. “My car won’t start.” As it turned out her friend’s car wouldn’t start either. I’m not a car guy, but all they needed was a jump to get going. I wasn’t in a hurry, and I really felt for both of them. Her friend came over and he said that he found jumper cables, but he needed my truck’s charge to get them going again.
“I’m trying to be positive, but it’s so hard,” she said, nearly crying. Wiping the sweat off her face, “So many things keep going wrong in my life. I think it’s my alternator this time; that’s not anywhere near my biggest problems.”
She began to unfold her heartbreaking story to me, a complete stranger. “I lost my 12-year-old daughter in 2021,” she cried. “Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed. “I’m so sorry!”
“They think she hung herself. It’s been four years, and I’m never getting over this.”
“Do you believe in God?” I asked her.
“Absolutely, yes!” Her tone changed. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be alive. People keep on trying to give me advice, telling me this and that, and sometimes, I wish they would just sit there quietly with me and pray. I’ve gone through a lot of times where I have been tempted to be mad at God, but he’s the One who is holding my baby.”
We talked more about her daughter. We talked about how it’s easy to blame God for our problems. It’s a human fallback position to let God be the target of our anger for our fallen world. But, trusting Him, His plans, and goodness and grace have us completely covered.
“No one knows the pain of death, or the death of a child, like God. So, I can’t point a finger at Him for this happening to my daughter. In Him I have hope.”
With both vehicles charged, I gave her a hug and drove off.
The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again, he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
John 8:3–11
The most awesome part of this lesson is that Jesus first forgives her. Before giving her a directive, He assured her that God doesn’t condemn her, and she is loved. Jesus patiently diffuses the crowd’s anger. He embodies grace and wisdom over emotional reaction. Instead of reacting, He calmly bent down and wrote on the ground. His response shows immense patience, wisdom, and a refusal to be provoked into a reactive judgment. While easy for Christ to do, it’s a model for us.
To be “compassionate and gracious” is to see people in their weakness and not respond with wrath, but with tenderness. I have not replied to my client’s email and will do so soon. I feel blessed to have had Jesus touch my shoulder to remind me that it’s best to respond and not react.
Life Application:
- John 8:1-11 powerfully teaches us to resist hasty judgment and self-righteousness by first acknowledging our own imperfections, thereby enabling us to extend grace and compassion to others, just as Jesus did. Resist hasty judgment and extend grace.