(Read Proverbs 18)
Experiencing the worst that life has to offer is often unbearable when taking it alone. However, enduring these times with a trusted friend powers us to keep going. Suffering in isolation heightens the pain, drama, and outlook. We always self-deliver the worst prognosis when we give our minds time to run.
It’s never as bleak when sharing our deepest thoughts with a friend and when they walk with us through the mire of darkness. It’s reasonable to conclude that no one else can take our place when it comes to the struggles in life, but is it accurate? With the best of friends, there are always ups and downs. At some time, we all let each other down. All relationships are prone to temporary failures. If you know me or my way of writing, you know where I’m going with this. There is one relationship that breaks all barriers.
Jesus is the only One who took our place for the punishment we deserve. He also pledged to be by our side to the ends of the Earth through the end of time. Friends can promise this too, but only God delivers on this oath. My wife and I are severely sleep-deprived as a result of adopting a 10-week-old puppy and simultaneously watching a lovely yet energetic 1-year-old dog who happens to also be in heat. The fact that this situation is self-induced doesn’t minimize the effects on our lives. So many aspects of our personal lives have been put on the back burner. Even my Bible quiet time is being squeezed into this new, not-so-normal. Listening to my phone while running with the more energetic dog, I heard Psalm 18. I usually read Scripture twice, and the first time I heard it, I was like, “Wait, did I get that right?” After the second listen, it was confirmed.
He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 18:22
Proverbs 18 is a chapter in the Book of Proverbs attributed to King David’s son, Solomon. It contains various teachings about wisdom, speech, relationships, and the consequences of human behavior. Each verse in the chapter stands as an individual proverb, offering insights and practical guidance on how to live a life of wisdom and righteousness. It emphasizes the power of words, the pursuit of knowledge and understanding, the importance of justice and fairness, and the value of humility.
In biblical times, marriage was seen as a foundational institution, and this passage emphasizes that finding a spouse—specifically a wife, in this context—is a significant gift from God. It’s not just the act of marriage that is God’s gift, but the pursuit and blossoming of the relationship that is good and virtuous. Good marriages are not solely a human achievement. They are also a sign of God’s blessing. Too many times, struggling marriages fail because God is left out of the equation. God gave all of us the blessing of marriage, just as He gave the divine gifts of love, respect, mutual understanding, joy, and fulfillment.
My wife and I have been married for almost 40 years, and we are not the same people we were when we were engaged or on our wedding day. Our love isn’t the same either. While we aren’t as shiny and tight as we were many years ago, our love is even greater. I have been waking up to my best friend for four decades. She is the person I confide in, I listen to, I comfort, and I seek counseling and advice from more than anyone else on Earth. She is the one I long to see after any absence apart and the one who lights me up with a gentle touch. Yet, our loving relationship is imperfect and pales compared to our loving friendship with Jesus.
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24
This verse nearly stopped me running! With some exceptions, when I normally read from the Old Testament, I don’t always catch such obvious pointers to Christ. There are several references in Isaiah, Jeremiah, Samuel, and Psalms, but I wasn’t expecting the foreshadowing of Christ in this Proverb. This is how the Holy Spirit, through God’s word, usually talks to me. I wasn’t looking there and didn’t expect to see it!
A friendship with Jesus has no highs or lows. The original Hebrew of this passage uses the word “aheb” or “ohev,” depending upon the translation, for “ a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Rather than just an acquaintance, the word infers intimacy, loyalty, and love. Who is the first person you think of when it comes to this description? Many friendships are based on commonalities and convenience. These superficial relationships lack the depth needed for support and intimacy. People change. Jesus doesn’t.
I read several commentaries of this verse that highlight the emphasis on building lasting, meaningful relationships. They comment on authenticity and the frailty of superficial friendships. Some say the focus of this verse is about companionship and encouragement. All of these summaries are correct, but in my mind, the verse isn’t talking about horizontal friendships; it’s talking about the vertical one we have in Jesus. Earthly relationships may lead to disappointment or ruin, whereas Jesus is the ultimate, unparalleled, fixed example of a friend who “sticks closer than a brother.”
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
John 15:13-15
In the Upper Room, where Jesus told His disciples they were no longer servants but rather His friends, you would think that would have had an immediate impact on them. Instead, Judas wasted no time leaving the gathering to fulfill Christ’s betrayal, and hours later, Peter denied Christ on three occasions. “I don’t know the man!” Immediately a rooster crowed (Matthew 26:74).
The kind of friends in our lives who resemble Jesus are rare, and eventually the sting of death will claim them. In Jesus, we have the victory that propels every follower of Christ to confidently proclaim Jesus is THE friend that sticks closer than a brother. Jesus’ commitment to His followers is absolute, even to the point of laying down His life for them. In Christ, believers find the true form of friendship, one that provides unwavering support, love, and salvation.
What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer!Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer!
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer!Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge–
take it to the Lord in prayer!
Do your friends despise, forsake you?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he’ll take and shield you;
you will find a solace there.What A Friend We Have in Jesus
Joseph M. Scriven
Key Applications:
- Just as this proverb speaks to the value of Jesus as our loyal friend, it also encourages us to be that kind of friend to others. Loyalty, trust, and commitment are the foundation of lasting relationships.
- Strive to be a friend, like Jesus, who sticks closer than a brother by being reliable, supportive, and present, especially during difficult times.
- Remember that while human relationships are meaningful, our relationship with Jesus is the ultimate source of support, comfort, and companionship. Seek to deepen your spiritual life, knowing that He is the friend who will never leave you or forsake you.