God Won’t Give You More Than You Can Handle?

(Read Psalm 46:1-7)

We used to meet in person every Thursday night. Now, we meet online when we all can find time to get together. Sometimes we follow a series, sometimes we discuss a book, sometimes we pour over Scripture, and sometimes we just chat. It’s a way to keep in touch. We also lift each other up when needed and hold each other accountable as good brothers should.

I mentioned a while back that a good friend of mine is going through some sobering challenges in his life. They could be nothing but temporary anomalies that showed up in testing, or they could be markers for something more serious. When we met last night, one friend mentioned a sermon that has really helped him through the worry and stress of his journey. Not so ironic is that the other friend in our group, who recently battled a complex surgery and is now going through immunotherapy treatments for cancer, is the one who shared it.

“God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
Yep, I’ve used this phrase on many occasions. I don’t think I’ve offered it to sound more informed, but rather to offer some kind of comfort. The words sound like reassurance from the Bible. In fact, it’s not Biblical, it’s taken out of context, and it actually casts a bad light on God’s goodness.

No temptation has come upon you except what is common to humanity. But God is faithful; he will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to bear it.
1 Corinthians 10:13

According to what most scholars say about them, the Corinthians faced and gave in to a lot of temptations. The Apostle Paul wrote to reassure the Corinthians that God would work with them to provide an escape for the bait they kept falling for. How reassuring is this fact that God will always provide, allow, and show a way for us to fight through our temptations? So this might be where the phrase, “God won’t give you more than you can handle,” was borrowed from. But in terms of life’s trials and sufferings, it’s just not true.

It makes God look bad. The saying says that God plans these awful things in our lives. While He knows they’re going to happen and allows them, it’s life that puts bad things in front of us. I believe that sometimes God uses things to correct us, He doesn’t necessarily use bad things to punish us. If my God is the kind of God who gives me a disease, makes me lose my job, takes away my wife or family for me to handle on my own, how can I love this God? The only way we can start working through our hardships in life is to get closer to God, to know that He is with us, that He feels us and our pain. God is not a dark lord from a superhero movie, he is a loving, caring Father who walks and cries with us. “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35).

My friend shared a little about his concerns last night. “It’s been weighing on me. Learning from the message, that God is with me and it’s not on me to figure out how to handle things has really helped,” he told us. When you think about it, God giving us more than we can handle puts all the weight on us. What kind of God would put these hefty burdens on people He loves? He didn’t come out and say it, but I was wondering if my friend was thinking, what if I can’t handle it? If we’re handling our problems without God, then we really don’t need God in the first place. It almost sounds like a works-based premise, which again puts God second.

We don’t want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, of our affliction that took place in Asia. We were completely overwhelmed—beyond our strength—so that we even despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a terrible death, and he will deliver us.
2 Corinthians 1:8-10

Sometimes, God allows us more than we can handle. Our comfort is not God’s main goal for us. Neither is our happiness. God is bigger than our biggest problems. When I’m facing worries sometimes I pray to God to remove them, much like Paul asked God to remove the “thorn from his side.” Our prayers don’t change God, they change us. I can’t recall ever hearing anything directly from God, but Paul sure did when God told him, “My grace is sufficient for you.”(2 Corinthians 12:9). I have no illusions of what’s going to happen to my body the older I get. I realize that entropy is going to win and the body I had as a 20 year-old will fade away. Knowing that God is walking beside me every time I stumble and fall, knowing that God is going to pull me up into His kingdom when He decides is the real comfort food I need. My friend is a great dad, a loving husband, a selfless friend, and an authentic follower of Christ. He didn’t bring his challenges upon himself through a sketchy lifestyle. It’s the human condition that did.

On more than one occasion, I have been present with a friend or family member going through the loss of a loved one. A boy from my son’s tennis team in high school was killed in a tragic accident on his way to school one day. It was the fall of this boy’s senior year. He had his whole life ahead of him – but not on earth. I will never forget his dad sobbing uncontrollably on his son’s bed when my wife and I visited with him. “Why?” he cried. “Why did he have to die?” My wife and I were silent. We cried with him. Sometimes it’s better to just be with people or say, “I don’t know.” Because we don’t. I think back to that painful time and wonder how awful would it have been if we said, “Well, God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.” So stop it.

As hard as they are, trials bring us closer to God. They put God in His true perspective. If they don’t, they should. When working through trials, we learn to see that God’s grace is sufficient for us. We become more Christlike. More importantly, we put less emphasis on us and all of it on God.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
Psalm 23:1-4

We long for calm and happiness, but we won’t find it within ourselves. When God walks beside us, then we know with assurance, we have all we need. “Still waters” here literally means waters that have been stilled. God did it not us. God desires a close relationship with us and will only get it when we turn to Him. When we surrender to Him. He will always be at our side through the deep, dark valleys all the way to His kingdom in Heaven. During our meeting last night, my friend cited this passage from the 23rd Psalm. We all know it. We’ve all heard it, but it stills my heart every single time.

The sermon my friend shared with us was powerful and moving and Biblical. I did some more research on the false statement about God giving us more than we can handle and as it turns out, a lot of people have shared similar viewpoints regarding the fallacy of the statement.

Perhaps if the saying were changed to, “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle — alone,” it might be more helpful. My friend isn’t a worrier. He never has been, but I know this has been on his mind for a while. “That sermon message really took the burden of worries off my mind and put it in God’s hands.” God doesn’t sit back just to watch us suffer. He is there front and center in our lives to move mountains and to offer us life saving grace. Give it to God, He can handle it.

God is our refuge and strength,
a helper who is always found
in times of trouble.
Therefore we will not be afraid,
though the earth trembles
and the mountains topple
into the depths of the seas,
though its water roars and foams
and the mountains quake with its turmoil. Selah
Psalm 46:1-3

Key Applications:

1. Have you ever used familiar sayings to others in times of trouble? Go ahead be honest. I have done it and continue to fall into this trap. Next time, be silent. Just be with them. Tell them, “I don’t know,” if they ask an impossible question.
2. Think about a struggle you’re facing. Ask God for help. Instead of looking for a resolution, look for signs of God’s presence with you in this struggle.
3. Read Psalm 46. You might be able to fix a flat tire or a tear in a shirt, but there are many life challenges we can’t fix. Let God’s promises continue to be bigger than your biggest problems.

Where else in your life can you live out the teachings of Christ? Look for next week’s Devotion.