(Read Matthew 18)
The love of Christ comes in so many different flavors. Sometimes it’s subtle, and it takes a while to evolve, while other times, it’s black-and-white and the most obvious thing in the world. One thing that is demonstrably obvious is that Jesus has no conditions for his love. He loves everyone the same and does not attach any prerequisites to it. There is no human weakness or personality attached to His love. Yes, to be saved and be in his presence for eternity, we must commit our lives to Him, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t love us first. Unlike all other religions, we love Christ because He first loved us; it’s only then we choose to have a relationship with Him, worship and follow Him, and love Him back.
We are aware of the depth of Jesus’ love for us. He gave everything, lost everything, and paid the ultimate price out of His love for us. The most agonizing experience He could ever endure was being forsaken by God, and He faced that horror on the cross. It was a sacrifice that we, in our flawed humanity, could never replicate. Only a perfect, unblemished lamb could pay the price for humanity.
Well, I wonder why Jesus spoke about loving others so often. One answer comes to mind: By loving others, we show the spirit of Christ within us. Forgiving others reflects the state of our hearts and the abundance of Jesus Christ in our lives. In His ministry, Jesus highlighted the importance of forgiveness and He never said or taught anything without purpose. Jesus didn’t have a long ministry life and couldn’t waste it on insignificant matters. Forgiveness was a paramount issue. Without forgiveness, love is shallow. Without forgiveness, love is a simple feeling, it’s just an emotion. Love with forgiveness, is a core level commitment. It’s trust. It’s beauty. It’s unearned. It’s grace.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:32
The Greek words Paul used here emphasize a gentle and compassionate attitude. His words weren’t just about outward niceness but about having a heart that understands and cares for others. We are called to forgive others just as God has forgiven us, even though we will never deserve it. This doesn’t mean pretending the offense didn’t happen but rather letting go of resentment and choosing not to hold it against the other person.
Paul’s verse reminds us of the immense grace God showed us by forgiving our sins through Christ. Jesus knew that forgiveness is essential for healthy relationships and inner peace. By forgiving others, we break the cycle of resentment and allow for reconciliation, we’re letting go of the chains that link us to the toxic poison of unhealthy things. A massive weight is lifted off us with forgiveness.
That’s precisely why I believe children are exceptionally successful at forgiveness. They’re too busy and active to be burdened with anything that doesn’t propel their lives forward. Sure, kids can get mad, and if they’re like my grandkids, get really hangry, but their anger or resentment doesn’t last. They have this immense bubbling love inside of them that bursts through their inner anger. In my six-plus decades of life, I’ve noticed one thing about children: happiness is their natural state of being. They can’t be happy and hold a grudge. It’s interesting that while they don’t have the mental capacity of an adult, they sure do extend a lot more grace than most grownups do — and more freely too.
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’ “
Matthew 18:21-22
Peter’s question reflected a common question about the limits of forgiveness. In the Jewish tradition, the number seven often symbolizes completeness or perfection. Peter probably thought he was being generous by suggesting forgiveness up to seven times. Jesus countered with a limitless response. “Seventy-seven times” (or in some translations, “seventy times seven”), commanding an unlimited approach to forgiveness that can’t be quantified.
The true grace of forgiveness isn’t about keeping count but adopting God’s attitude of perpetual forgiveness and infinite mercy. The verses above from Matthew’s Gospel are part of a broader teaching on relationships within the community of believers. Jesus next told of the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:23-35), which illustrated more about the principle of limitless forgiveness. The parable underscores the hypocrisy of accepting God’s vast forgiveness while refusing to forgive others. It’s a call to let go of grudges, not hold onto bitterness, and forgive as God forgives.
My granddaughter’s moods, like those of other four-year-olds, can make her as salty and cantankerous as her grandfather. Those are the exceptions. Her heart is gigantic, full of love and, as I have described earlier, forgiveness. The day after her “toe incident,” she came up to me on the deck overlooking the ocean, near the original scene of the crime, and said, “I love you, Pop Pop.” Nothing prompted this show of love. I wasn’t even talking with her at the time, but she had something she wanted me to know. It’s who she is and what she’s full of.
After this happened, I thought, I have to write about it. I have to share this with others. If we could all behave like this in our daily interactions, this world would certainly be a better place. Followers of Jesus would look more like Jesus than people who don’t. To gain the freedom of love at the expense of resentment reflects God more than the largest tithe or perfect church attendance.
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Luke 6:37
This passage is often misinterpreted as a call for a blanket acceptance of all behaviors. However, the true meaning is about the attitude and spirit in which we judge. It’s not a prohibition against discerning right from wrong but a caution against a harsh, self-righteous attitude. Jesus is advocating for a merciful approach that mirrors God’s mercy towards us. This teaching aligns with the broader context where Jesus instructs His followers to love their enemies and show kindness to all, reflecting the nature of God, who is merciful to everyone.
Jesus stressed forgiveness because it is not for the offender but for us. We may not always feel like forgiving, but we can choose to do it based on God’s command and the example He set through Christ’s forgiveness. Letting go of hurt and anger takes time, unless you’re a child, but the most remarkable example of forgiveness is God’s unconditional forgiveness of our sins through Christ. This should motivate us to extend similar forgiveness to others.
Yesterday, I received two emergency phone calls from a client that had to be addressed. The rest of the family went out for ice cream. I had resolved the issue by the time of their return. The first one who burst through the door was my granddaughter, who shouted, “Look at what I bought you,” Pop Pop!” She had paid for my ice cream out of her own money. Even though the single penny in her purse didn’t buy the treat, the gold in her heart made it happen. She was so happy to pay for my enjoyment. I didn’t ask her to do this; her gesture was the outpouring of her inner Christ.
We should remember that the love of Christ comes in many forms and that when we forgive others, He forgives us. More importantly, we should remember to forgive others because Jesus told us to. It means we’re being like Him, living like Him, and loving like Him. Imagine if we can keep this up for our lifetime!
“Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”
Proverbs 17:9
Key Applications:
- Forgiveness is a continual process, not a one-time event. It’s an ongoing practice of letting go of resentment and choosing kindness even when someone repeatedly wrongs you. Can you let go of something burdening you and give it to God?
- We are called to forgive endlessly, just as God forgives us: The verse reminds us of God’s immense forgiveness towards us. We are incapable of earning it, yet God offers it freely. This extravagant forgiveness should inspire us to extend similar compassion to others.
- Acknowledge your hurt: Take time to process your emotions and acknowledge the pain caused by the offense.
- Even if you don’t feel like forgiving someone, you can choose to release them from the burden of your resentment.
- Remember, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself as much as it is to the other person. It allows you to move on from the hurt and cultivate healthier relationships. Seek professional help if you’re struggling with harm or harmful thoughts. Pray to God to help you let go.