(Read Romans 8)
We’re all harder on ourselves than anyone else is. After all, we know our flaws, weaknesses, and failures. Adding insult to injury are the people who struggle with insecurity and find themselves especially atrocious. “My mom and friends would often tell me how pretty I was when I was a teenager (L),” told me. “But inside, I knew the truth. I felt unattractive with a bunch of problems. I didn’t see it.” (L) has battled with insecurity and anxiety for most of her life. “I think the biggest struggle in my past has been dealing with insecurity, the fear of failure, and fear of financial scarcity,” she added. Everywhere she turned, it was clawing at her trying to sabotage her life. As an early antidote, she used success in her military career as a vaccine to tame the beast, and just like drugs, alcohol, sex, porn, or other quick fixes, they only mask a problem — they don’t make it go away.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus
Romans 8:1
In Romans chapter 8, the apostle Paul discusses the relationship between the Holy Spirit and believers. Simply put, because of the work of Jesus Christ on the cross, believers are no longer under the condemnation of sin. Instead, we all are free to live in the Holy Spirit, which empowers us to live a holy life. Verse 1 of the chapter begins with a powerful declaration of a believer’s freedom from the condemnation of sin. This was a massive relief from the legal condemnation sinners received from the law of Moses. Jesus fulfilled the law and took the punishment for our sins on the cross. As a result, we are no longer under the law’s condemnation.
“The Army was always something I took great pride in and was one of the few areas in my life that provided constant positive feedback. It fed my ego,” (L) explained. In a man-dominated world, I was top in my ROTC Class, first pick for many things, received awards and reports across all levels, and was even promoted early to Lieutenant Colonel, which isn’t a common practice.” Simultaneously, her marriage was failing. She endured 16 long, painful, and abusive years. “Due to my insecurities, without really noticing it, I allowed my soul to get smaller and smaller with every year. The smaller I felt, the larger my impatience, resentment, and anger got.” She revealed that every one of her fears was coming true during this horrible period. (L) sometimes needed to dip into piggy banks to buy gas or groceries. This compounded her sense of failure and insecurity.
(L) didn’t come from a great foundation of the Christian faith. “My mother was very cynical about religion, claiming it focused on restriction and punishment, not love and forgiveness. Since my father didn’t grow up as a big believer, both parents agreed to let my sister and me choose whatever we wanted for our religious source.”
Towards the end of her marriage, she “resorted to praying in the hopes of saving it.” Without having the right church to help, she dug into the Bible for wisdom, nurturing, and support. “My brain focuses on logical explanations, and there was so much content from church and the Bible that didn’t resonate with me or make sense. Despite the praying, my prayers went unanswered, which only fueled my skepticism.” This statement told me much about where she was in her walk with Jesus and her understanding of the Holy Spirit. We’ll come back to her account later.
Sixteen years of verbal and physical abuse and perpetual distrust in her marriage led her to a tipping point. There was only one way for (L) to survive, and that was out.
Ambushed by God
Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside, helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
Romans 8:26-28
My friend (L) grew to have an intimate, loving relationship with Jesus Christ, and it is essential to remember that the verses above talk about those who love God. This verse does not apply to us if we do not love God. At first, she didn’t feel Christ carrying her burdens for her. “I wasn’t mature enough to understand what was required of me. Going to church and situational prayers wasn’t it,” she said. Paul points out in this verse that even when bad things happen, God uses them for our good.
“I wasn’t practicing my Christian faith while working in the Army Reserve. My issues were in the past, and I was getting healthier emotionally, so I wasn’t seeking anything. I believe God has a sense of humor because knowing how stubborn and prideful I was, He had to ambush me full-on before I got too far away from him.” I am still laughing at this. (L) comes across as the most humble and agreeable person I know, that’s not who she sees though. She continued, “During a military training trip, I met a guy who was on fire with his faith. We developed an intense connection. One night, while struggling mightily in my hotel room, my phone rang. My friend told me that God wanted him to call me and tell me… It was exactly what I was dealing with, and it was the first time I felt as though God was trying to let his presence be known to me.”
God was listening all along and answering, I thought.
(L) went on to describe herself as a homebody and introvert. “Meeting guys was not happening. After months of terrible responses, I decided to delete my Match profile; however, right before I deleted it, I received a response from a guy named (D) who said that everything in my profile description was exactly what he was looking for too!” They had a couple of weeks of phone conversations before they would eventually meet. “To me, our first date was more like therapy. (D) did something that day that I hadn’t had in many years — He just listened attentively. I did a lot of venting as I was still in pain from my marriage and divorce, and he could have easily checked out and just pretended to listen. But I could tell he was actively listening, which was a promising sign for me.”
“Hope is the anchor of our soul. It is the assurance that, no matter what happens, God is in control and He will work all things together for our good.”
Chuck Swindoll
“As we continued to date, he explained how important it was for him to marry another Christian woman grounded in her Faith who put God first. I thought to myself, God first? Uh oh.” At that time, (L) was not that person. “I asked him if that would be a deal breaker. He didn’t make it conditional, so we moved forward in our relationship, which led to many ‘discussions,’ and since I don’t like to lose, I had to start reading the Bible to prove my point-sneaky GOD.” Big laughs. “I often explained to (D) that some Christians can be hypocrites because they don’t walk the walk, and I never hear God speaking to me as others claim. No voices, no doors opening, no doors closing, nothing! (D)’s reply would always be, ‘Are you reading the Bible?’ I hated that response! (D) was also on fire for the Lord, and we worked to ensure I didn’t get burned while taking baby steps and drinking milk.”
(L) went on to tell me how she came into contact with another ambusher after switching her duty positions. People don’t come into our lives because of what we do, it’s not happenstance or serendipity, instead, it’s often the transformative work of the Holy Spirit offering us encouragement, hope, and a deeper understanding of the Christian faith and a closer relationship with God. “My right-hand enlisted soldier I would best describe as (D)’s equal to being on fire for the Lord, if not more so. We started attending their Pentecostal Church. The energy in the church was incredible! I deeply loved and respected all three of these people: my friend, my boyfriend, and my co-worker. I was surrounded! GOD had ambushed me with three people with beautiful hearts for Christ. I surrender!”
Over the next two years, (L) went through questionable leadership shifts and power grabs, which nearly ended her career before she would have qualified for her full benefits. “At first, I was angry and saw this as severe punishment. Sometimes, self-righteousness is my undoing. Thanks to God, I learned so much and was moving forward in my faith; I realized I was missing something very important. Truly letting go, trusting and realizing what ‘His Will’ means.” Another great listener, Christian disciple, and close friend of both of ours shared the passage of Romans and one from James.
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
James 1:2-4 (The Message)
She saw that when her anxiety reached a high level, and feelings of failure and fear of financial stress started to creep back in, it was too much to carry every day. (L) confessed, “So I had no other choice but to let go. It would have consumed me and taken me back to a very dark place of 21 years ago, where I allowed my soul to wither away. I wasn’t going to let that happen again. I was too tired to fight, so I had no choice but to let God take on the battle for me.” I was, and still am, amazed at her clarity, as if she has a 30,000-foot view of her life. “I realized I put too much of my identity into my career standing, and that branch needed to be cut. The humiliation of it all was also a clear sign of pruning away some excess and unnecessary pride.”
“Being Ambushed by GOD has been an event and process I will always be grateful for. I have so much to learn, but it’s an exciting type of learning. I want my daughters to be ambushed in their own way but in a way that gives them the foundation to know they ‘can do anything through Christ who strengthens us.’ Philippians 4:11-13. I was a human parent with failures, but I did my best. Luckily, God is a perfect Father.”
I closed our conversation with, “And thanks to Christ’s work on the cross, you (L) are also perfect in God’s eyes.”
Key Applications:
- Do you remember that God is working for your good when you are going through a difficult time? Does it feel like it’s for your good? Pray to God. Tell Him what you’re thinking and ask Him to help you to endure, trust, and understand.
- Remember that God will never leave you or forsake you — through anything.
Where else in your life can you live out the teachings of Christ? Look for next week’s Devotion.