(Read Jeremiah 29)
On our way home from a wonderful Christmas with our son, daughter-in-law, and two fantastic grandchildren, the phone rang. It was a call from a long-time friend’s wife. Before she finished speaking, my heart was already moving backward through the years, retracing the steady, quiet way God had woven their family into our lives.
We met them when our oldest child was still an infant. His wife was the first sitter we ever trusted. What began as a simple arrangement quickly became something far deeper. Our families became best friends almost instantly. Even though they hailed from a different part of the country, we shared the same taste in music, the same sense of humor, and the same zest for sports. Her husband and I had so much in common it was uncanny. God’s plan, not ours.
I was a Mets fan, (R) a Cardinals fan, and our good-natured baseball rivalry brought so much joy and laughter. We shared everything—from 70s rock bands like Head East to deep conversations about life and, eventually, faith.
(R) introduced me to motivational thinkers like Dennis Waitley and Stephen Covey. At the time, I saw them as tools for self-improvement. But as I grew in faith, I realized (R) had been pointing me toward something greater all along: not self-help, but surrender to God’s will. Not self-gain, but God’s transformative grace.
Years passed, and we remained close. Whenever we reconnected, it felt like no time had passed. There was no reset. Looking back on the early days, I’m surprised by how little we discussed faith openly. Yet, it was always there, quietly guiding us.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11
This verse became the foundation of (R)’s spiritual walk. Raised in a home steeped in church tradition, he told me he had always felt a rhythm in his faith—a steady beat through ritual and heartfelt prayer. He said, “My faith background never strangled me. It gave me breath.” Watching his mother live out her faith left a deep impression on him. Her prayers, her life, were his first lessons in real Christianity.
“I talk to God through rote prayers,” he once told me, “but also through honest, even brutal conversations. I learned early on that I could always find my true self talking to Jesus.”
As time went on, our conversations turned more and more toward Christ. During one of my visits, (R) shared how he and his wife had attended a Cursillo retreat—a transformative experience filled with unconditional love. He was deeply impacted by a homily that challenged him: “Be all in for Christ or walk away.”
“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:12–13
(R) sought God with his whole heart. Through every phase of life—whether it was raising kids, supporting friends, or engaging in prison ministry—his faith was active and real. He believed deeply that grace, particularly the grace received at the altar, was the strength behind his marriage. “We are two incredibly flawed people that no matter what, stick together,” he said.
In later years, we found ourselves talking about deeper things—about Jesus, faith, and even suffering. After 9/11, we both surrendered to the truth that our lives are held in God’s hands, not our own. “I used to try to control everything,” (R) said, “but now, I just pray for wisdom.”
He quoted Philippians:
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:7
He lived those words. His legacy was rooted in this quiet but powerful peace. He was funny, thoughtful, and deeply sincere. When asked what he wanted most for his children, he answered, “I want them to be aware of the truth.”
Truth for (R) was not just a concept—it was a Person: Jesus Christ. He knew that faith was a gift, that grace was real, and that even in life’s darkest valleys, the light of Christ still shines.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Matthew 6:33
When (M), his wife, called to tell us that (R) had passed after a hard and tragically short battle with a rare form of cancer, the pain was sharp. But so was the gratitude. Over 35 years of friendship, we shared life together—volleyball games, late-night talks, laughter, and faith. (R) made the world around him brighter. He was the light and life of Christ, shining in everyday ways—through a Head East song, a quote from Stephen Covey, or a passionate debate about baseball.
God gave us a beautiful gift in (R). He was a friend, a brother in Christ, and a fellow traveler on this path of faith. He stayed the course. He sought the kingdom. He was all in.
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, thank You for the gift of friendships that reflect Your love and draw us closer to You. Thank You for the reminder that our lives are not random, but woven by Your sovereign hand. Help us to seek You with our whole hearts, to surrender our plans to Your perfect will, and to walk forward in faith with our eyes fixed on Jesus. Let us be “all in”—just as (R) was. Amen.